Tony's Gone
by Night Angel Gunny
Summary: Things have reaching boiling point for Tony! He has been thinking for a while about transferring and he finally does it. M\M Romance
1. Chapter 1

**Disc: I do not own the characters or show of NCIS or NCIS: LA. **

**Story: Things have reaching boiling point for Tony! He has been thinking for a while about transferring and he finally does it.**

**OOC: There is a possible coupling, not sure were its going to be. I think it well be Tony/Gibbs but then again, I am not sure where this story is going yet. It could be Tony with someone from NCIS: LA. So I guess its going to be a surprise 'cause I have no clue what will come as I write. **

Tony looked around his surroundings. He was back from being an agent afloat but something wasn't right in his head. He had mistrusted Director Sheppard and it had got her killed. He had deserved to be an agent afloat. Ziva had kept trying to get him to do the right thing and check on the Director but he couldn't damn it, he couldn't. He had already been slammed by Director Sheppard and he hadn't wanted to risk further hurt. It did hurt though, damn it. He had not done his job and now a woman was dead. He didn't care that he had been told that she was dying from some tumor, or that she always wanted to die in a battle. He still hadn't protected her.

He sat in his apartment. He was off for the weekend and he was already half drunk. He had done a lot of drinking on the boat. He wasn't allowed to but he still did, although he never got as drunk as he was now. He thought back to Jeanne. She was a good woman. She hadn't known her father was a bastard or an arms dealer. He had fallen in love with her and used her. She had loved him and had given her heart to him, she had lowered her walls to love him. Well, Tony Dinardo, his alter ego. He had done the same, he had allowed himself to love that woman because he would never be with the man he loved, so he found Jeanne and he had loved her as much as he could love any woman.

It was the second time he had loved. He remembered that day when he was at his desk in Baltimore when he heard a clearing of a throat and looked up into those beautiful blue eyes. God, he had fallen in love with Gibbs right there and then. It only got stronger as the years passed, with them working together. He thought about it now. Director Vance didn't like him so he could probably get transferred to another city and team. Everything in his body hurt being around Gibbs this year. It had taken some time to get over Jeanne and when he had it was Gibbs again, damn it, and he was more mature now. He couldn't bring himself to sleep around now. Every damn time he looked into those blue eyes not only did his cock respond but his heart did. Gibbs had finally told him he was proud of him! He was lead agent for a case when Gibbs was in Mexico and when it needed re-opening Gibbs let him take lead again and Gibbs had told him he was proud of his senior agent.

He took another long drink of the vodka. He downed the bottle fast and threw it into the trash. Fuck, that was his last one. He was suicidal sometimes, but this job did that to you. Right now he figured if he just got out of D.C., got away from the man that was driving him nuts, he'd be ok. Being an agent afloat helped some, but not enough because he was blaming himself for Director Sheppard's death and with that he went back to thinking of Jeanne and how he had betrayed her trust and broke her heart. Gibbs had actually loved the Director and we could all tell that he still felt something for her and he, Tony DiNozzo, was the reason that the woman that the boss had such a past with, was dead. The thing was, he didn't blame Tony! Tony wished that he would so that he would beat the shit out of him tell him what a fuck up he was.

I stood up and headed to bed but when I woke up I had an idea in my mind. I made a call to the Navy Yard. The director was at the office so I had requested a meeting with him, today if he could. I had got the okay, so when the time came I went to his office and sat at his desk opposite him.

"Well, Agent DiNozzo, what can I do for you today? I didn't think you'd be asking for anything since you're back on land."

Yeah, the man didn't like me, I could read it from his body language. I leaned back as I slid my hands through my hair and I looked at him, telling myself to just spit it out, DiNozzo.

"I would like to transfer to another city, please. I would like to leave D.C. It's about time for a change. Being on the boat, well it gave me time to think. It's time that Agent McGee got a chance to be Senior Agent. I've taught him all I can."

Director Vance looked shocked for a second but he covered it quickly. I just leaned back, keeping a stony face as he looked me over to see if I was serious. I didn't say anything else. I was going to show respect even if I didn't want to. I wanted out of here, even if it meant I was going to be a Junior Agent again. He looked at me.

"There's an opening in Special Ops in Los Angeles. I think you would do well there. If you're serious about this I can have you transferred in two weeks. Give you time to say goodbye to your old team."

I didn't want to say goodbye to anyone but I knew I had to. They were my team for so long and they deserved me to say goodbye properly. I nodded and stood up and looked him in the eyes.

"Thank you Director Vance, that would be appreciated. I can be ready in two weeks to leave for Los Angeles."

He nodded his head he looked back to his computer, that was enough to tell me I could leave. I headed out. When I got down to where the bull pen I looked at the place I had considered home for almost eight years now. It had been just me and Gibbs, then there was Kate, followed by Tim. Then Kate was killed, that had ripped me a new one. Most thought I had fallen in love with her but knew better. I did love her as a friend. But I loved having my own Probie in Tim, teaching him to be a good agent, to grow a spine. Then there was Ziva, she had been a good friend and someone I trusted to have my back. She had come to care about me too and we had become good partners.

I made my way to the elevator. I had to say goodbye to them. I went downstairs. I knew Abby wasn't there but I looked through the glass. Abby had been here before me and she had loved me right away. She had been the best sister a man could ask for. We are close, we had movie nights regularly and told each other almost everything. I had even divulged more to her than I did with the others about my childhood, and she had been there to hold me while I cried. I closed my eyes, I was going to miss those death grip hugs and those slugs to the shoulder. I know she would want to keep in touch and I would. Not sure if I would keep in touch with all the others but Abby, yes, because of our bond.

I headed out. I wasn't going to go to autopsy. Ducky! I had never had much of a parent figure but Ducky, yeah, he had been there for me. When Gibbs had gone on hiatus, he was there for me, he gave me advice. Truthfully, Jimmy and I had a connection too, just like I had with Abby. Jimmy was damn close, we had become good friends. When Gibbs was away he let me bounce ideas off him about cases and he helped me clear my head to solve cases. Because, well the team wasn't doing much, they looked down on me because I wasn't Gibbs. Truth was I probably would keep in touch with Jimmy and let him relay my emails to Ducky.

I knew that when I worked Special Ops I was going to be undercover a lot and truth was, I thought that would help me more than anything. So much has happened that I was starting to pretend I was not Tony DiNozzo most of the time anyway! I think I needed that. I needed to not be the man that had hurt one woman undercover and who had got another woman killed because I lost trust in her. Plus, being totally in love with my boss, who I couldn't get out of my mind, wasn't helping at all. I needed a fresh start and a new place. Yeah, I had sworn off deep undercover ever since Jeanne but I think I needed it now. I just had to keep my heart closed off, no more falling in love, just do my job. If I wasn't a working a case I would totally lose it, my work something I had loved ever since I began.

I had taken some sleeping pills after I got home to make my self crash out as I had work tomorrow. When I got in, I gave that charming smile. I knew when Director Vance was giving me time to say goodbye and that he wasn't going to say anything to any of my team. Hell, I was early. Even Gibbs wasn't here so I sat down. Well, yes it was about 04:30 in the morning. I sat down and started to work on my paperwork that I had to finish. I heard the elevator open and I knew who it was because I had asked him to come in early when we spoke last night. Jimmy was here! He walked over and he sat down and looked at me. He was worried, he had really become a good friend.

"Hey, Jimmy. Sorry to ask you here so early but I wanted you to be the first I told. It's going to be hard as hell to tell all the others."

Jimmy looked at me. Truth is, I had talked to him about transferring a few times since Gibbs came back. I also knew that him and Ducky may be the only ones that are going to be more open to this then the team. Jimmy more so, but Ducky understood me more than I thought sometimes. I hoped he would be open to this.

"Tony, you're going to transfer, huh?"

The thing people didn't get about Jimmy, not even the team, was he was an observant person. He may be nervous but that didn't mean he missed anything. He understood things just as well as the rest of us. He was the only one that knew about my feelings for Gibbs because he had first told me that he was dating a man when Gibbs was on hiatus. I had meet the guy, he was good for Jimmy and they had been together for about four years now. He was the only one on the team that had a long lasting relationship and was happy.

"Yeah, Jimmy, time for me to go. I think you're going to be the only one that understands this. I think Ducky may be a close second."

Jimmy had told me I should open up more with the team about my feelings. But that had never happened, things always came up, a case or something. I knew the next team I was with I would be loyal and all that, but I wasn't going to get as close to them. Hell, if I even got a team, I kind of hoped I would be working alone on most undercover ops.

"Tony, I agree Ducky has noticed things. I know he has, I see him look worriedly at you sometimes. The others, no they won't understand right off the bat, but I think some of them will understand eventually."

Truth was, ever since Gibbs went on hiatus, me and Abby had kind of slowly lost some of that closeness. It had happened because she was so obsessed in believing Gibbs was coming back and she didn't see what I was going through. Jimmy had become a trusted friend that was something I knew. Me and Abby were close again now, but not like before Gibbs left.

"I hope so but at first they're going to feel betrayed, like we all did when Gibbs left. But my reasons for leaving are completely different. Then again I understood why he left us, I mean going through what he went through had to have ripped his heart open all over again."

I stood up and so did he and we hugged. He was the only man I was really comfortable in hugging like this and I knew he understood that. When we separated he looked at me.

"Me and Eric are going to have you for dinner before you leave. No buts, we're going to give you a farewell dinner. Got me?"

I smirked and all I could do was nod. He headed off to do some work since he was here so damn early. I sat back down and started my paperwork again. Truth is, in some ways Jimmy was better to talk to than Abby, because when it came to work and my need to leave she would have never understood. She would have fought me and I would probably have never gone to Vance for a transfer. But I needed to be understood and that's what Jimmy was! He was the person that understood I needed to go. I closed my eyes and then opened them a minute later and started to work on my paperwork.

I heard the elevator open about a hour after I came in. When Gibbs came in, he looked at me. God, those damn blue eyes that had captured my heart when we first met were looking at me and there was a look of worry in there. I shook it off in my head as I heard him speak.

"DiNozzo, what the hell are you doing here so early?"

I looked at him and flashed him a big fake grin. I knew Gibbs, he would see that it didn't reach my eyes. I leaned back as I looked at him. I couldn't tell him yet that I was leaving. Hell, I wasn't even sure I wanted to tell anyone else, except maybe Ducky. I was thinking of just leaving notes on their desks that I had been transferred to another team and that I had requested it.

"Couldn't sleep, Boss. I had some paperwork I needed to finish, so no big deal."

I mean, he knew there were times I would come in late to finish some paperwork if I needed to. He gave a grunt and dropped his things at his desk. I had seen this a few times, his normal routine was to drop his gear off then he would go to get some good coffee. He headed out and I went back to my work. Thirty minutes later the next person to show up was McGee.

"Morning, Tony."

I couldn't say that I wasn't proud of Tim and how much the man had grown into his job. I really didn't mind that he had grown a pair and could come back with good come backs to me. But every now and then he over did it but I had to say nothing. But I had never explained to Tim that the reason I had been so harsh on him was to make sure he grew a spine.

"Morning, Probie."

He went to his desk and I went back to my paperwork. When I heard the elevator again I knew it was Ziva. She came in and raised a brow but she nodded her good morning and I nodded back. She was a bit quiet but I went back to work and when Gibbs came back, he started to work on his own paperwork. When I heard someone from above call me I looked up to see Vance.

"Agent DiNozzo, come to my office."

I saw my team look at me, curious, as I saw Vance leave but I just headed up as I slid my hand through my hair. I went into his office and sat down as I looked at him.

"You will be working under Lead Agent G. Callen. His team is one of the best in Special Ops we have in Los Angeles. But they need you sooner then we had planned. Can you be ready in two days?"

I froze some as I thought about it. No, that wouldn't be a problem because in truth the two weeks were going to be hard and I needed to get out sooner. I shook my head as he spoke again.

"I do not want your old team knowing where you going. As you will be an undercover Agent there. You will be given a new name that you will have your car and apartment under."

I nodded again and he handed me a California driver license, along with birth certificate, passport and social security card. I took them, pulled my wallet out and put the driver license and social security card in. I put the passport in my inner pocket of my jacket. I had actually done some packing this morning as the sleeping pills had worn off and I woke up about midnight last night.

"Thank you Director Vance."

I knew he was still going to be my Director when I was over there but he wouldn't be as observant as he was here, that made it easer as well. I stood up as he did, he shook my hand. There was actually a little respect there and I was shocked.

"I am going to have a moving company get what you don't because I know it so soon. We even have you an apartment ready. I will have them come over tomorrow morning and start packing things. Your plane leaves in two days, on your last day at work, at 21:00. I wish you luck, Agent DiNozzo."

I nodded and I headed out. I went back to my desk as Tim looked to me I could see the curiosity in his eyes.

"What was that all about Tony?"

Ziva looked at me, and even Gibbs did. I looked back to my computer. Hell, I had to come up with something quick. I knew the instant I had got back they would be asking me that.

"He wanted to talk about a few things, nothing for you guys to worry about. I need to finish my reports guys."

We worked cold cases all morning. When it was lunch time I went down to autopsy. Ducky wasn't busy so I looked at him and took a deep breath.

"Ducky, can I take you to lunch? I would like to talk to you about something important."

Even if Ducky didn't understand completely, the good thing about Ducky was that he could keep his mouth shut. But I didn't want to do to him what Gibbs had done, just leave without saying goodbye. We went to this diner and we ordered our drinks. I leaned back in my seat.

"Anthony, what is wrong, lad?"

Truth was, I had loved to be called lad. He treated me like a father should treat a son. I smiled at him, the man I loved him like a father. What could I say but I was going to do right by him and say goodbye.

"Director Sheppard's death affected me hard, along with a lot of things that have happened over the years. I have been thinking of transferring for awhile. I am going to be transferring in two days. I asked about it a few days ago Director Vance was going to give me two weeks. But seems the team I am joining needs me to transfer now."

I could see some shock and sadness in those eyes. It broke me up inside, but then I saw some understanding in his eyes.

"You have been through more than Tim and Ziva have over the years, Anthony. I can understand why you are leaving but I will miss you, lad. Just promise to keep in touch, and may I know were your going?"

I looked at him. I hated not being able to tell him that. I shook my head some, as I looked down for a second to get my thoughts straight.

"Sorry, Ducky, it's a pure undercover unit and I can't tell you where. But I will keep in touch. I have had planned to keep in touch with Jimmy and I figured he would read you the letters. I am sure there will be somewhere you can send me letters. You can send yours with Jimmy's. I would like you to keep this to yourself Ducky, the only other person I have told is Jimmy."

We didn't eat a lot but when we got back I was glad to bury myself in work because I didn't plan to tell the others until the night I was leaving. I had it all planned out. The next two days went by and we only had cold cases. I had texted Abby up to the bull pen as we were working a cold case and Gibbs had us staying late. It was an hour until I needed to leave for my plane. That gave me enough time to get there and get on the plane. When Abby came up, looking curious, I stood up and cleared my throat and the team looked at me. I took my badge and gun in hand and walked over to Gibbs' desk. I looked at him but I said it to everyone.

"Been a real honor working with everyone here, Boss. But my time has come that I need something new and a new city. I'll be leaving to transfer tonight." I set my badge and gun down. I knew Abby was shocked. Hell, all of them were. Ducky was up there, I had called him along with Jimmy. I took a deep breath and looked around me. I could see Abby was shocked. Ducky had a hand on her shoulder. "You guys have been a team I have learned to trust and things have gone bad. But we have had good times, we made a damn good team. McGee, you're going to make a damn good Senior Agent. Make sure you're on Gibbs' six."

I couldn't say shit to Abby so I walked over and kissed her forehead and headed to the elevator. No one followed, I knew they were shocked. I heard Abby trying to get away. Then I heard Ducky.

"That's enough Abby. This is how things are."

I left. I got to my car quickly before I could be stopped. When I got to the airport I had my bag and things went smoothly. No one followed me and I was on the plane.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disc: I do not own the characters or show of NCIS or NCIS: LA. **

**Story: Things have reaching boiling point for Tony! He has been thinking for a while about transferring and he finally does it.**

**OOC: There is a possible coupling, not sure were its going to be. I think it well be Tony/Gibbs but then again, I am not sure where this story is going yet. It could be Tony with someone from NCIS: LA. So I guess its going to be a surprise 'cause I have no clue what will come as I write. **

I was in a motel for tonight as my things had yet to be delivered to my new apartment. First thing the next morning there was a knock on my door. I had already got dressed. This was an undercover job so I had decided - no more suits. I had a pair of jeans on, along with a nice button up black silk shirt. I answered the door and a handsome man about my age looked at me.

"You must be Anthony DiNozzo. Name's G. Callen, I'm here to take you to our headquarters."

I smirked some, he was handsome and he was the Lead Agent! I shook hands with him, grinning. He handed me a badge and gun. I slid the badge into my jacket pocket and slipped the gun into the back of my jeans and put on a light leather jacket. We headed out to his car, it was so cool. We got in and he turned and looked at me.

"So, you worked with Gibbs for eight years? That tells me a lot. The man is hard to work for and I'm glad to get someone trained by him."

I looked at him with a raised eyebrow. He knew Gibbs? That was a new one to me, that was for sure. I ran my hands through my hair as I looked at him, I wasn't sure if that was going to be a good or bad thing.

"Yeah, he hired me right out of a local precinct of Baltimore PD, Homicide."

He nodded and he drove off. I could tell I could trust him right off the bat, at least to have my back and I could see he was one that got the job done.

"Did an undercover op a long time ago with Gibbs, he's a good Agent. If he trained you I can tell there's not a lot that I'll be needing to teach you. I looked at your file, you've done some damn good undercover work."

I smirked at the praise and nodded my thanks. When we got to the head quarters we walked in. There was an African American man that looked like he was Military. We approached and I saw there was a pretty brunette as well, along with a lanky one who really didn't look like he could be a undercover agent. G. started to make the introductions. He started with the African American man.

"This is my Senior Agent, Sam Hannah. Then this is our Junior Agent, Kensi Blye. Then, last one here is Operational Psychologist, Nate Getz. Guys, this is our new Junior Agent, Anthony DiNozzo, he was a Senior Agent for an old friend of mine for about eight years in the D.C. office, in Major Cases."

I wasn't quite sure if that was saying he trusted me because I had worked for Gibbs so long and he knew that for Gibbs to have someone that long meant Gibbs had trusted me. I looked them over, they looked like a good team.

"You can call me Tony, if you want. I'm glad to be working with you guys."

Kensi was the first to hold out her hand and shake mine. Somehow she reminded me of Kate and Ziva, and for some odd reason, that was a bit of a comfort.

"You can call me Kensi, Tony. Well, it'll be great having you on the team."

Sam shook my hand, he didn't say anything and I still had the impression that he seemed like the Military type. I could see him being someone I could trust. Hell, all of them did, and that was a nice feeling for coming in to the new team. Nate took my hand and shook it.

"Good to have you aboard, Tony. You can call me Nate."

I could see he had more to say when there was a whistle from above. I looked up and there was the geek of the team, I could tell right off the bat. He looked me over for a second and then G smirked.

"Looks like you are about to start your first case with us, Tony."

When we got up there I meet the Tech Operator, Eric Beal. He was the geek of the team. Then there was a woman who was really short and she was about as old as Ducky. I liked her because, well hell, it was nice because she reminded me some what of Ducky. She was Henrietta 'Hetty' Lange and she was the supervisor of the team. We got straight to work. The case was just like most undercover work but I noticed that, like Major Cases, we worked murders. We didn't deal really with the evidence collecting, we did a little but not as much as we did on Gibbs' team. The case went well, I fit in with the team which was nice. But I was still going to miss the old team. But it was nice to feel somewhat at home with this team right from the word go.

It took me a month to get my apartment set up like I wanted it. It was built with old brick, like my old apartment. Seems Vance wanted me to feel at home. I thought about Gibbs' team and everyone else back at D.C almost every day but this felt, for now at least, like it was the right move. I was loosening up. Nate took longer to get used to because, well, he did some shrink talk with me but it didn't feel like I was going in for sessions. I warmed up to him eventually. He was good at what he did. Kensi wasn't all like Ziva and Kate but there was still the similar things, but she had her own style. I hadn't really flirted like I had with Kate and Ziva. Didn't feel right somehow.

Then there was G and Sam, they were a good team. They did more undercover work together. I was set up with Kensi most of the time and we worked well together. After the first case I knew that this team had my back and that I could trust them. I liked that a lot, it made it easer to not feel so guilty for leaving Gibbs team. There was still some guilt. I heard a knock on my door, it was G. We actually hung out along side Kensi and Sam and we went to bars to relax after work. He walked in and sat down.

"So, there's something I've been wanting to ask but you really don't have to answer them if you don't want to."

I sat down and leaned back. I figured I knew what was coming, one of them was going to ask me why I'd left a team after eight years. So I didn't even let him ask.

"Well, I had been Gibbs senior agent for almost seven years. The first Agent we hired was Kate Todd, she was a secret service for the president. She was good, she fit in slowly, we trained her - she did a lot of what Nate does really. She was with us for two years. I am sure you saw my record, where I got the plague. Well, when I came back after that we caught this case, there had been a terrorist we had been dealing with for a long time, called Ari Haswari. Me, Gibbs and her were on a rooftop, trying to prevent a terrorist strike when she was shot, right between the eyes by Ari."

I took a deep breath, that was hard but for some reason I knew I could talk to G. I felt easy around him, different but I felt safe around him like I did Gibbs, like I could talk to him.

"Well, his half sister came down to help us take care of him. Ari was shot and killed in Gibbs' basement. Figure you know about that boat he builds, or boats I should say."

G laughed some and nodded as he leaned back. He looked at me and I waited, I wanted to give him a chance to say something.

"I know to leave Gibbs after so long, that things must have gone to hell. I can see when I mention Gibbs that you have a lot of respect, I can tell that he really didn't make you leave. I figured there were a lot of reasons. You don't have to tell me them all, but I see you as a friend and would like you to."

I nodded and continued.

"Well, after Ari's death, his half sister was put on our team. Abby has been mentioned, she was my Eric. She was our hyper-energizer bunny and damn good at her job. It took her the longest to get over Kate's death and accept Ziva. Abby is the kind of person that makes you feel like you're all family. To her, we were not co workers, we were her family and she loved us all. We were, and still are, close but Gibbs got caught in a bomb blast and lost his memory. Things went bad when he started to remember and he just up and left and made me Lead Agent. Abby was so lost that Gibbs had left, he was like a father to her. The team didn't really look up to me. We were all devastated when Gibbs left."

I stopped and took a breath. I stood up and went to the kitchen and came back with some beers. I took took a drag from one and sat back down. G was quite ready for me to continue.

"Their need for Gibbs made them all cranky with me. They followed orders but the respect wasn't there. When Gibbs came back to help a friend and then later, another case to help Ziva, it didn't help. He came back to the team soon after but it wasn't until last year that he actually told me he was proud of how I did as a lead agent. The thing was, when he came back I had been doing a deep undercover for the director. I messed up and fell in love with the girl I was dating, she was the daughter of a big arms dealer. Found out the Director was using me to get to the girl's father, who she pretty much knew had killed her father." I took another drink of my beer. "Well, the case came crashing down when I was with Jeanne and her father picked us up one morning. He knew who I was. One of his men took my car, both my cells and my badge were already in my car. We were driving along when my car exploded. We stopped at a park and I told Jeanne who I really was and when she asked me what it was all about, the undercover, I told her that she needed to talk to her father. After that, we found her father dead and out of her pain, and also to get back at me, she accused me. She was leaving the office when she asked me if any of it was real. I wanted her to move on because there was no future for us so I lied told her I hadn't loved her. Took me awhile to get over her. If you want honesty, this goes no further then here, G."

He nodded. I trusted him more than I did the rest of the team. They all had a great respect and trust from me.

"I've been bi sexual since I started even thinking about sex. When I first met Gibbs, I fell in love with him and I knew I was going into deep water when I accepted the job. Jeanne was a get away from that. While I was getting over her, I thought in my head I was getting over Gibbs as well. Well that wasn't the case."

He nodded, he was going to let me keep going. There wasn't any hate in his eyes or disrespect when I told him I was bi. I took a deep breath and at that he patted my knee. Then he leaned back.

"Then the Director had to come to a memorial and funeral here in LA. Me and Ziva were protection detail and when she told us to go have fun, because she had things to take care of, Ziva didn't want me to but I could see she was up to something. I didn't want to get hurt again. I ignored Ziva but eventually I gave in and we finally went to find her. When we found her, Director Sheppard was dead and it all went to hell. Gibbs had had a relationship with her in the past and I could see he was hurt. Hell, it hurt me! I loved him so much it hurt. When Director Vance took over, he didn't like me much. He split the team up and I was sent to be an agent afloat."

I took a deep breath and finished my beer in one long guzzle.

"When I came back from that, Gibbs had fought hard for me, that's why I feel guilty that I left so soon after. But it was hard to be around him, the way I felt about him and know that nothing would come of it. So I went to Director Vance and asked for the transfer. I think he was glad, but in the end he had some respect for me, even if it wasn't a lot. I told two of the people that worked for us right off the bat. Ducky our ME, he was like a father figure - he tried to understand us and he understood. His assistant, Jimmy, had become close to me after Gibbs took off after the whole explosion fiasco."

I leaned back some.

"Really, no one pissed me off so much that it made me leave. I had trained a good kid for five years, he came to us nervous and shy. I trained him to have a back bone. He was my Probie. But I knew when I left that I left Gibbs in good hands. I said that he would make a good Senior Agent and he would. But Ziva was also there and I knew she would protect them both, she had become family too."

G looked at me and he laughed softly. "Bi sexual myself and when I first meet Gibbs, I didn't fall in love with him, but truth was, I could see he was damn attractive. You were right about him and Director Sheppard, she was part of our undercover work in Russia. All of us knew they were together, and it was hot and heavy. I could see looking at Gibbs that he was in love with her. I can also see, now that I've met you and know your story that it was damn hard for you to leave them all. But thanks for trusting me with this. Why don't we watch a movie and chill?"

I knew he was letting me off the hook. I turned on the new James Bond movie and we sat there, watching the movie. I was more relieved now because I thought I had found someone who understood me, and I knew G had a past he probably wasn't going to tell me right away. But I could see that he was like me, he was trying to be someone else all his life. Half way through the movie G spoke.

"Tony, there more to this story before you even met up with Gibbs."

I stopped, okay, so he wasn't going to let it totally go. I took a deep breath and leaned back and turned the movie on mute.

"Yeah, I came from a rich family. Though you probably already knew that. My mom was being abused by my father and he abused me when I got old enough for him to kick me around. Well, my mom had enough. We had a stable at home. I had gone looking for my mom and there she was, she had hung herself. The letter said she couldn't take it anymore and she was sorry for leaving me. I was eight."

I took a deep breath, I could see he was watching me.

"I had learned from an early age to show I was a happy, spoiled kid and not to show that I had such a shitty life. For four years, my old man beat me and subjected me to a lot of verbal abuse. When I turned twelve I decided to tell him I wanted nothing to do with the business. It pissed him off, he disowned me and put me in Military school. I graduated and went to college where I broke my knee. When that healed and I graduated, I went in to the police force. Really never found a team or a family like I did at NCIS. They were great and I still love them all like family, but it was time to move on."

G nodded, then he leaned back.

"I was left in a cathedral by my mother. With just G. Callen for my name. Then I went through a lot of foster care. Like you, I just kept all the pain in and acted like nothing was wrong. I didn't stay in any foster home for long. When I was around eight, I never sayed anywhere for more then a few months, I was switched around a lot. Joined the FBI first and then went to the CIA, that's when I did that undercover with Gibbs and Director Sheppard. Then, like you, I found a surrogate family at NCIS. I know this isn't Gibbs team but you are family here, Tony."

After that the year went by quickly and I started to get over Gibbs. I knew I would always love the man, truth was he was my first real love and I was always told you never forget that first love. The team had learned to trust me and we had come to work real well together. Things were going real good for all of us. For now!


End file.
